Twists and turns

It has been quite some time since I last posted on this blog. I have to say that I feel weird. As I begin typing and organizing my thoughts I can't help but think back to the last time I was writing. I can't help but think back to the person I was. Yes it sounds dramatic. Good. It is. You're going to have to forgive the sappy language from here on because I have changed dramatically. This summer has, for the lack of better words, "opened my eyes" to a great number of truths about who I am, what I value and my goals for the future. I spent the summer following a beaten, albeit lucrative path of success, with one foot on the ground, the other sturdily perched on the first rung of the ladder of corporate America. The experience was like nothing I have ever done in my entire life. I worked nearly 100 hours every week, pulled all-nighters, ate three meals a day at my desk, worked 67 days out of the 70 day internship (one of the days off was July 4th) and almost never saw my friends, family or girlfriend. To those people , I say I'm sorry. But such is the life of an investment banker. I realize that I am making this experience sound awful. In many respects, it was. But I learned more during those 10 weeks than I have in any other 10 week period in my life. The skills both technical and soft that I learned on the job will most certainly help my in all of my future endeavors. However, the more compelling aspect of my summer is that I slowly lost my grip on the dream of steady success. Throughout the summer I managed to work as much as I possibly could with the few hours that I had to help develop the business. I realize now that I derived more fulfillment, joy and pride in those few hours than I did in the 1000 hours I spent at the office. And that says something.
Readers: I am ready to take a risk. I am ready for a real challenge. It's a challenge that can't really be measured in hours per week or density of work--it is a complete test of character and will. I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to experience the upsides and the downsides of developing an idea, launching a business and seeing it through to the end, regardless of fate. I am not the type of person who assumes risk with a blind eye. The risk I want to assume is calculated; we have developed a marketable product in significant demand. Believe me, I know my odds. To those, however, I will choose to turn a blind eye because in either success or failure I will learn invaluable amounts about life, business and most importantly, myself. One of the major challenges I have faced since coming to this realization was how to tell my parents that I will be turning down a highly coveted, lucrative and secure job offer to risk thousands of dollars and live without much income for as long as it takes to sufficiently grow the business. My biggest worry was my mother who is a very worrisome individual and wants nothing but safety and success for her son. I told her my plans on the way to the train station the other day and she initially reacted to the news like any parent would--with horror. But after I explained to her my passion for entrepreneurship and more specifically my unrelenting belief and resolve in this business, she began to warm up to the idea. She is an entrepreneur. In fact, both of my parents are. As long as I have lived, neither of my parents have ever responded to a boss. I tried to explain to her that this must have influenced me in some way and that the entrepreneurial gene (yes, there definitely is one) lives within me. After a lengthy discussion in the parking lot of the train station it became clear to my mother that I had made up my mind and that there was nothing for her to do but help me. She will be a crucial advisor and resource throughout this entrepreneurial endeavor both emotionally and financially. She says that she may be able to get us free office space for the coming year and a consultation with a corporate lawyer to officially organize our distribution of equity and contracts. What I appreciate most is that she said two amazing things to me throughout our conversation, two things that only an entrepreneur would know to say to another entrepreneur. First she said there is no such thing as failure: there is success and then there is "not getting off the ground." The second thing she said to me was, "I believe in you." The words "I believe in you" are often taken for granted. But as I said in the previous post "Risky Business" most people just don't offer support.
The following day I had dinner with my girlfriend and my father, during which the conversation immediately turned to the business. I updated them both on everything that has been going on and I broke the news to my father as well. He was much more receptive off the bat than my mother which did not surprise me because unlike in prior years he has begun to trust that no matter what I do I will find a way to be successful in life. I can't tell you how much this sentiment means to me. The more interesting story is that the next day I woke up, checked my cellphone and had three voicemails and a text message on my phone from my father. I was really concerned so I called him and he proceeded to tell me that he had to talk with me about what I told him the night before. He needed to see me immediately. I was surprised, concerned and excited about what he was going to tell me. His attitude seemed positive but the level of urgency made me worry. Sure enough we met up in a coffee shop that day just before he was about to leave to the city. My father, my girlfriend and I sat at a table as he told me something that I never thought he would ever tell me in my entire life: "I think you should take time off school or go part time while you try and start this business." I can't believe that my father the Yale grad, earnest and risk-averse individual is telling me to take time off school and delay graduation. He said that there is no way I will be able to handle my last year of college and launch a business. He said both will be done poorly as opposed to one being done well. He said to me plain and simple: it is one or the other.
I'm honestly still shocked that I am having to face these decisions, but it appears that I have come to my final decision and that is to go to school part time this year and focus mostly on the business. My Dad is %100 right and I believe in this idea and our ability to execute it. Going part time will free me up significantly and the chances of success will surely increase. I am doing this because I believe in it. There will be a lot of complications (housing, etc.) but it is almost as if I don't care because in light of potential success and this unique experience the complications are viewed as inconveniences that will have to be solved. They are insignificant to me.
Anyway, those were the twists, turns, questions, answers, choices and experiences I have seen over the past 12 weeks. Sorry to have been long winded but my life's changes deserve the words. I am so excited and so nervous for what is to come of the next year or two. I promised to keep you all informed, each step of the way.
Look out for a post from Alex about the business and how its course has changed.